So, the self proclaimed greatest human being in the world has decided that that he needs a new name. And no, he isn’t calling himself Mr. Superbeing or anything like that. No, Kanye West wants to be known as Martin Louis The King Jr. from here on out.

He claims the name change has to do with the unveiling of his new shoe line that he designed with Louis Vuitton. On his video blog, Kanye explains as only Kanye can:

“Oh, hey world. As you can see, I’m in Paris, chilling — due to the transactions early this week, I have some very, uh, grim news,” West said in a video. “I know I’ve been called the
Louis Vuitton Don, I know, I’ve been called a lot of names, uh mostly The Don, the Louis Vuitton Don — due to what happened — when the red shoes hit the runway, I was forced to change my name, to, Martin Louis The King, Jr. Address me as such.”

God, what in the Hell happened when the red shoes hit the runway? Did they turn around and tell Kanye to change his name? Did a riot break out? Were the shoes so freaking ugly that he’s going into hiding? Really I’m dying to know. I’m also dying to know what makes him think he can give himself a new name that sounds so close to one of the true greatest humans that have ever lived. Dude, you’re a rapper, not a visionary.